Speilburg or whatever his name is

Alright, here's my two cents:

First off, do not pay any mind at all to the movie “Gremlins” or “Gremlins II” by Steven Speilburg (did I spell that right). Those movies contain hideous lies and propaganda that is meant entirely to throw the average, innocent human off course. Well, people like you and me are not fooled by that—because we’re not average are we? Speilburg is a Gremlin through and through. If you have not seen any of his Gremlin movies, do not bother. In fact, they are not at all pleasant or entertaining in the least. We Gremlin Hunters see a lot, but for us those movies are most…unpleasant.

Now that should be enough to get started with. It would be wise to keep a Gremlin Log or Gremlin Book so you do not loose track of who’s who. You may write this in code if you feel the need, but let me tell you: not many Gremlins are smart enough to realize you are taking notes, so keep that in mind.