Gremlin or Not?

Every day we are forced to make important decisions, whether it be deciding if your sandwich bread is too moldy to eat or if the person you are talking to is a gremlin. Gremlins are everywhere; Your neighborhood, your school, your office, beneath your bed, even under your toenails (as proven by the Lamisil commercial) It doesn't take a genius to spot a gremlin, you just have to know what to look for. This entry is here to educate you.

Gremlins have the ability to take on a human form. This, however, does not give them human characteristics. Gremlins are unbelievably stupid. That would be sign #1: stupidity.

Sign #2: the making/producing of rude noises and unpleasant smells. Such as burping without saying excuse me and passing gas.

Once you have spotted these signs and wish to confirm your suspicions aproach the gremlin in question with extreme caution and begin interogation. Here are a few questions to start:

Do you like raw venison?
Raw venison is a gremlin's food of choice.
Gremlin Answer: "Who's that?" (being too stupid to realize raw venison is not a pop singer but uncooked deer meat or maybe they are making a poor attempt at playing dumb.) or Yes.
*Half Gremlin: What's that?
Non Gremlin: No. (Sorry, however stupid and unpleasant this person may be he/she is not a gremlin)

Do you keep a mirror in your bedroom?
Gremlins can not stand the sight of themselves and avoid mirrors at all cost.
Gremlin: No
Non-Gremlin: Yes

Do you like rotting vegetables?
When there are no deer around gremlins often resort to eatingthe rotten vegetables in your garbage can, framing the dog. Unfortunately it takes the stupidest of gremlins to not notice that you have guessed their secret by asking this question.
Stupid Gremlin: Yes
Gremlin: No
Non-Gremlin: No

These questions are not enough. An innocent stupid person (or wise alec) could easily be mistaken for a gremlin. That is why further observation is neccesary before you can be sure you have found one. Observe for the next few days before marking them as a gremlin.

Hopefully this has educated yoiu about how to spot a gremlin. Remember BOG! Over and Out.

*a person with gremlin ancestry or a human you should take pity on for their attempts at being smart.